She's so cool :-)

Graysea, my loaner dog from Nathan the Generous, is awesome.

When walking outside together, she'll wait when I ask her to (for example, before crossing a street), and then she'll bolt when I say "okay!"

I just think that's adorable amazing.

On other fronts: It's hot again, and quite humid.

A better mouse trap

This guy is my hero: http://www.humanemousetrap.info.



Way to go, Manny! :-)

The Hidden Zero - Exposed :-

I found some posts about an article that I wrote with James Gross (my Stanford adviser) and Carol Dweck (my Stanford fairy god mother). The funny thing is that the paper is only coming out next month.

I am pleased. :-)

• http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissus-in-all-us/200909/increasing-self-control-appreciating-nothing

• http://www.psychologicalscience.org/onlyhuman/2008/06/youve-got-to-feel-zero.cfm


• http://nudges.wordpress.com/2008/06/23/making-the-payoff-look-worth-the-wait
  


• http://blog.consumerology.org/?p=29

I ain't waving, babe, I'm drowning

In a play that I saw a few months ago, the actor/writer sang this really haunting and beautiful verse, which stuck in my head ever since. Yesterday, while driving around to look at houses in Philadelphia, I translated the verse into Hebrew:

(turns out this is one verse from a poem by Ric Masten, who also writes a lot of other neat things)


I ain't waving, babe, I'm drowning
Going down in a cold, lonely sea
I ain't waving, babe, I'm drowning
So babe, quit waving at me


אנ'לא מנפנפת, אני טובעת
בים אפור, זועף
אנ'לא מנפנפת, אני טובעת
אז מותק, אל תנפנף

Engaging Presentations

This article goes a little beyond the "less text, and throw in a joke" tips. In my ongoing quest for learning to engage (thanks for giving me the language, Paul), I'm going to save this one and consult it when I start working on my next presentation.

 

Still, the key points appear to be the same: Simplicity, emotional connection with the metarial, simplicity, drama (theme, rhythm, peaks), practice, and simplicity. :-)

Living with the muppet dog

A couple of days ago I moved to house/dog-sit for Nathan, who is a friend of Seth's, and now also a friend of mine. It's a lovely two-floor house in Germantown (a neighborhood in Philadelphia that is farther out from downtown, and borders the huge park and the river that runs through it).

When people ask Nathan what sort of dog Graysea is, he says "A muppet wolf-terrier!" and it's funny how different people catch different parts of that description. Personally, I think the "muppet" part is the most accurate, and the other two words are just planted there to distract people away from it. When I asked Nathan about my hypothesis, although he didn't exactly confirm, he also didn't deny. :)

I spent a few hours yesterday driving around and trying to get a feel for the neighboring neighborhoods. I'm thinking about buying a place, and still considering getting one in this area, rather than closer to campus. I'm a bit worried about potential problems with commuting to/from campus - I'd love to bike, but I don't think the weather here will allow biking all year, and I still haven't figured out the commute time using public transportation.

Rachel and I Broke Up

Yesterday night. By phone.

Sad.

Seriously?

From a textbook on diagnostic interviewing:

"If the patient agrees with the interviewer's [i.e., the therapist's] view, the therapist calls this congruency full insight."

Come on.

Hot Tango in Philadelphia

At some point, it got too hot for me to feel sorry for myself, and so I decided to do something. I Googled "tango philadelphia" and the first result was this incredible website called (wait for it) TangoPhiladelphia.com. As it turns out, there's a place to go dancing pretty much every day of the week. Amazing.

I decided to go and see what it's like. The surprising thing is that I actually did go. Once I got to the place, I just kept right on walking, got myself some orange juice, and then went back and hung out on the street corner, drinking my juice. I was nervous. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself as a dancer (as a leader, anyway), I'm usually a little shy about asking others to dance, it's been a few months since my last milonga, and I didn't expect to know anyone in the room. I made a deal with myself: When the next person goes in through the door, I'll go in too.

A few minutes passed, and nobody came in. I started feeling silly, and just pushed myself to go inside and see what happens.

I had such a good time. :-) I ended up staying until the end (from just after 9pm till after 1am), which I wasn't planning on. People were incredibly nice, and warm, and welcoming. Nobody ran away screaming after dancing with me. :-) Most girls looked at me funny when I asked if they'd like to lead, and usually chose to follow. Two agreed to try and lead - they were relative beginners in tango (although lovely followers) and perhaps had less social norms to overcome about leading. I also met a guy who had never danced tango before, and just came to the milonga. I was so impressed. We danced together a couple of times, with me following. He appreciated it.

There were a few bonuses thrown in there. First, there was the Spanish speaking lady who was willing to speak to me in Spanish and then explain whatever I didn't understand. Then, there was the tango teacher who came over and asked if I'd like to dance - as a follower. She spun me around the floor like crazy. I had a blast. Lastly, there were the brownies. Oh, the brownies. I had never seen such a spread at a milonga before - fresh fruit and all kinds of pastries. I stuck to strawberries at the beginning, but then it was brownies all the way. :-)

Some thoughts

• In all the places where I've danced tango so far, it's almost always the men who ask the women to dance. A lot of women feel that it would be a social faux pas for them to ask a man to dance. A woman I spoke with today at the milonga explained that she's worried about coming off as "too aggressive." I'm amazed that there is still such backward thinking around. I just don't get it. There are rare women who will walk up to men in a milonga and invite them to dance (they're usually tango teachers, and I imagine they feel secure about their status in the community). I, for one, have no problem with being asked to dance. Quiet the contrary. The fact that women still feel like they shouldn't take the initiative--and, what's worse, that men may also feel that women shouldn't take the initiative--feels very oppressive to me.
  
  
• Seth's place is in a great location, in terms of proximity, although parts of the neighborhood itself look pretty sketchy. I've been driving less and less, as I got more of the geography of the place into my head and realized how close everything is. I was considering walking to the milonga, rather than driving, and asked Seth if it would be safe to walk back late at night. He said that he, personally, feels fine about walking around at that hour.
  
  I wasn't sure how I felt about it, and was considering taking the car or possibly not going, or at least borrowing his bicycle so I could pass through the streets quickly. It took me a few moments to realize that I was confusing poverty with criminality and violence. I actually hadn't seen any violence, or even hints of violence (unlike other places I've lived in before, notably in New York City). And realizing that I was automatically and unthinkingly assuming there will be trouble made me sad. I realized that, if I don't test my assumption, I'll always just be afraid of walking through this neighborhood at night. I decided to walk, as an experiment.
  
  It was fine. I'll admit to being apprehensive at times, but there wasn't even a hint of a threat. I rehearsed in my head what I might do if I got mugged (not resist, offer whatever I have, be respectful), but it never happened. So now I have a bit of experiential knowledge telling me that, at the very least, I won't get mugged every time I walk through the neighborhood at night. ;-P
  
  

Man, tango was fun. It's been the first time I've done anything like exercise since coming here (since going on the roadtrip, actually), and I feel good. Definitely planning on more of that.

Cats don't need saving

Today was the hottest day in the world. I was worried that the two cats I'm living with would die. I actually brought their water bowl downstairs, replaced the water in it with fresh, cold water - and then, after thinking about it for a few seconds, added some ice. I figured that if I'm feeling this hot, they must be boiling in their fur. I called them over, dipped my finger in the water bowl, tried to show them how nice and cool the water was.

And they got it. They understood this strange person was clearly excited about the water. More surprising, they were polite about it. They came over, sniffed the bowl, sniffed around it, stayed next to it for a little while - but didn't really drink. Ah well.

Me, the Psychologist

Today I finally I met the good people at the Center for Injury Research and Prevention, with whom I'm planning on doing lots of work in the few years to come. The Center is located about a 5 minute walk from where the RWJ building is on the U. Penn campus. How convenient.

I came in to meet Flaura and a bunch of other people, and discuss what I'll be doing over the summer (since Flaura generously agreed to employ me as a consultant until the RWJ position starts in a couple of months). My job right now is to learn as much as I can about the Young Driver Research Initiative, and then jump in and help. This is FUN, and I will be learning a lot. I even got my own cubicle (first time ever).

Everybody (and I mean everybody) is extremely nice. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better, and to really dive into the material.

---

Which reminds me: This Tuesday I started the clinical psychology classes with the U. Penn department of psychology, who have been very kind and very graciously welcomed me to join the clinical training program. I'm taking them with 4 other clinical psychology PhD students and the instructor. I'm having a blast. The material is interesting, the instructor is very committed and sharp, and my fellow students are welcoming and very talented. As usual, I feel a little behind on the material. As usual, that doesn't bother me too much - I'll just work to catch up. :-)

Doctors Rule

I'm currently staying with my friend Seth and his housemate Abigail. Both are medical residents - Seth does internal medicine, and Abby is an emergency room doctor. I was sitting at home (ha, I call it "home" already, that's so nice) and suddenly it occurred to me - today, and every day when they're working, they are saving lives. Literally, saving lives! While I, uh, find creative ways to spend tax money through research.

I chose, a few years ago, a path that may result in large-scale impact, rather than focus on inidvidual lives. It was a hard choice, and I never feel completely confident that it's the right choice. I usually feel that it is, for me. Although I try to be a positive influence on people I interact with throughout the day, I consider my work to be about large-scale impact. But to be confronted so directly, on a daily basis, with people who save lives for a living...

A few years back, I think it would've been very easy for me to spiral down into self-reproach and doubt - am I wasting my time? Am I wasting other people's resources? Should I drop it all and go to med school, or try to find some other way of having immediate, tangible, positive impact on the world around me?

But this self-doubt didn't really happen this time. I respect Seth and Abby a great deal for who they are and for the work that they do, and I feel that I am on the right track in my own work. They inspire me to remember not to waste my energy on the kind of self-gratifying research that I sometimes see around me--scientists doing research to impress other scientists, without improving anybody's life (well, I guess they're improving their own)--and still, I am glad to say that I feel good about the path that I'm on. I just hope it will prove to be more than just dreams and intellectualization, and result in true service and real benefit to others.

Hurrah, doctors. :-)

Magical Philadelphia

I hear people use all kinds of words when describing Philadelphia, but "magical" isn't usually one of them.

And yet, whenever I describe my experience here over the last few days, the word "magical" somehow appears every time. Everything is just lining up... magically. :-) It starts with the way I met my first Philadelphian friend, Seth, back during the interviews for this program. We didn't spend a lot of time together, but I liked him and hopefully he enjoyed my company too and, when it became clear that I'm coming to Philadelphia, he offered that I stay in his spare bedroom for as long as I needed.

As if that wasn't enough, he then connected me with a friend of his who lives in a totally different part of Philadelphia, who has a house and a dog - and needs somebody to house-sit and dog-sit for the 6 weeks he's away. Right up until August. Which is when I'm going to Israel.

So everything is lining up magically, as far as scheduling goes, and I have plenty of time to look for a place and plenty of opportunities to sample different neighborhoods at my leisure. I'm thinking about buying a duplex and renting out a half of it. I'll need to get on it pretty quickly, if I'm hoping to have a place to live in by the time I return from Israel. It's one of those things, like buying a car of finishing my dissertation: I analyze too much, freeze, become intimidated - and then, at some point, I decide I'm just going to go for it, and I do, and all of a suddent I'm rolling and it's done and it's good. So, time to start looking for a place.

I bought a digital camera yesterday. I did a bunch of research to decide which model I want, and decided to go with an "ultra-portable" camera rather than a super-fancy one - I like the idea of taking lots of pictures easily. I eventually decided on a specific model, and then went to check craigslist, to see if somebody was selling it in Philadelphia. There was one post from the previous day - great price, perfect condition, a bunch of accessories. I got in touch with the guy and we met the next day. He and his fiance were incredibly nice, we ended up talking for more than an hour, and plan on having dinner together soon. Camera, one offer, new friends. Magic.

It's been raining over the last couple of days - warm, humid, monsoon rain. I kind of like it. I kind of like Philadelphia, almost to my surprise. It's very... varied. It feels like a bunch of different towns strung together. There are very urban areas (downtown, upscale residential, slums), but also wide open green parts, a huge park, three different rivers, and of course a whole bunch of academic campuses.

Neat.

Road Trip and Dog Food

I arrived in Philadelphia a few days ago, after finishing a roadtrip from Stanford. The trip had a few interesting moments. The weather got progressively worse as I was leaving California (of course...) and for the next couple of days I was driving through a lot of rain and occasional hail. Later on, I read in the news that a couple of tornados had touched down where I passed, either just before or just after I passed there. Made me feel less bad about how hard the driving felt. Betty (my new car) was a trooper. I was very happy to be in it, rather than outside.

Rachel and I met in Denver, and continued the drive to the east after playing for a short while in the Rocky Mountain National Park. For the record: Colorado is gorgeous.

A few incidents from the trip stuck in my mind. On the first night, my friend Shay called me from Israel, and helped me find a place to stay for the night in Utah. I'm often amazed by technology, and phones in particular. It still seems strange to me that I can talk into a little box and somebody far away can hear me, and then I can hear THAT person from the same little box... I think that's amazing. But then, to talk with Shay and have him track my location using GoogleMaps, and then find a motel for me by looking ahead and reading reviews that other people left... that just blew me away.

The next morning, I went into the local supermarket to buy some food for the day. A store employee was friendly, and when he heard I'm on a roadtrip, he suggested I take cherries with me. I tasted one, and it was good. I got a bag. From that moment and until the end of the trip, there were always cherries in the car (I kepy buying and eating them). Now, for me, cherries are official roadtrip food. It's amazing, what an impact one person can have in one moment.

One morning in Nebraska, Rachel and I went into a supermarket to buy some groceries for the road. We got most of what we wanted, and I asked a guy in the store where I could find some hummus. "Some what?" he seemed confused. So I explained it's a dip made from chickpeas and his face cleared. "Oh yes," he said. "Try aisle 10." So off we go to aisle 10, and it's all dog food. I think he was playing a joke on the snooty strangers that were asking for the weird food. I thought it was a pretty good joke. :-)

The drive through the eastern half of the country was, for the most part, very beautiful. I'd never gone through this area before, and I guess spring is a good time of year to be anywhere. So green, so beautiful.